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Search Me
The Psalms are a special part of sacred literature. I sometimes think you have to be older to truly appreciate them. That’s because you have to live “some life” to see how well they speak of life as it really is. What God has done is to speak through David’s (and a few other’s) remarkable writing skills to reach into our hearts and lives to motivate and move us closer to Him. I’m glad He did!
I’m not sure what prompted it, but the other day I got to thinking about the words found at the close of the 139th Psalm. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Wow! That is a word that often comes to me in reading the Psalms, but for some reason it was more like a double wow this time.
What my mind focused on was the thought of asking God to search me; of opening myself up to His all-knowing mind. Of course, I understand as I am sure you do, that God’s omniscience already sees all that is there. But the thought is for me to openly and voluntarily say to Him, search me, try me.
As I thought about that my mind turned to Job. He was obviously a righteous man. God says of him, “…there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?” (Job 1:8). And at the end of the first chapter of Job it says, “In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.” Job was certainly not a wicked, evil man justly suffering for his corrupt life. Job was not a denier of God. In fact, we can read many good and right things he affirms about God. We see him enduring his sufferings and trials with excellence and spiritual strength. He had a single-mindedness about serving God that is amazing. But, there are some things about Job that are often overlooked.
A careful reading of Job will reveal things that are not good. Even Job came to realize this as he confesses his failings at the end of the book. Listen to him. “I have uttered what I did not understand” (Job 42:3). He thought he under-stood certain truths and so he talked confidently about them, but he really didn’t. Listen again. “I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:6). Clearly, all was not as it should be in his life and he now acknowledges it.
What was Job’s problem? If I were to sum it up in a word it would be self-righteousness. Yes, he was a good and godly man. In fact, he was so good and godly that it “had gone to his head,” as we sometimes say. He didn’t see himself as God saw him. Listen to him as he talks back to God in Job 10. “Does it seem good to You that You should oppress me?... And smile on the counsel of the wicked?... Although You know I am not wicked… If I sin, then You mark me…Cease! Leave me alone…”
Certainly there is no sin in lamenting to God about life’s unpleasant and troubling experiences. The Psalms are full of such laments. But Job sometimes crosses the line from personal lament to blaming, criticizing and questioning God as to why all this was happening to him. At first, his reverence for God is without fault. But, as time passed and his problems continue, his self-righteousness is revealed in his arrogance, pride and presumptuousness of how good and right he thought he was.
But enough talking about Job; let’s talk to ourselves -- “me!” Self-righteousness can possess any of us. A frequent, thoughtful reading of Luke 18:9-14 should help us to refocus. Confidence about ourselves is good and necessary, but caution is needed lest that becomes arrogance and pride over “our doing.” Self-righteousness becomes a barrier to me seeing me as God sees me. It is trusting in my goodness and performance. It causes me to compare myself to others to demonstrate to myself that I am spiritually better than them. Faultfinding and criticism of others becomes easy because “I” see myself as so good and right on every issue.
What is needed for each of us is a good dose of humility. “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 14: 11). We need to learn to “not trust in ourselves, but in God” (2 Corinthians 1: 8-9; 3:4-5; 4:7; 5:14-15). Often we learn (hopefully!) this humility, as Job did, through the trials, hardships and sufferings of life (Hebrews 12:3-17). Even gold requires refining!
So, the issue is not what do I see, but what does God see. I need to frequently say to God, “Search me…try me.” I need to be open to allowing His word to be “a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). I need to be honest in saying “…lead me in the way everlasting.”
